On the occasion of women’s day, I would like to pen down my thoughts on the constant tussle faced by most of us female professionals on how to balance our work and personal life.
As a daughter, as a life- partner, as a mother, as a community / social group member, as a professional and above all as an individual per se, we all face constant dilemmas while striving to attain that perfect, almost utopian, equilibrium. It’s a constant tussle between so called simple choices like attending to your family needs vs. staying true to your professional commitments, pampering yourself with a break vs. fulfilling your responsibilities, leaving your kid at a crèche vs. seeing your kid take his/her first steps, getting your beauty sleep vs. burning the midnight oil to ensure meeting key deliverables at work and above all neglecting your personal well-being vs. taking care of your work and family commitments.
I think what accentuates it (at least for me!) is the need to live up to our own self-expectations wherein there is the underlying cultural archetype of being a good woman in terms of a home-maker, empathetic and supportive daughter, a super-mom, a diligent social worker, etc. to on the other hand prove myself at work.
On reflection on my own continuing journey on this path, sharing a few tips which have helped me along the way i.e.,
It is important to periodically take stock of life in terms of what at that stage is meaningful priorities for us and map how actual time is spent correlating with our priorities. Sometimes jotting this down makes it a more conscious action and any course correction required emerges quite glaringly.
In case of a conflict, rely back on your value-system to make sustainable choices. It is funny but many a times what looked as a tough compromise actually turns out to be more in our mind and once executed other people adjust and things fall back in place. The point I am making her is that we ourselves are responsible for others taking us for granted!
Make the most of each moment and be fully present and enjoy whatever you are doing. When performing a particular role whether at work or at home, give it your full focus and quality time. Don’t let other roles clog your thoughts at that time.
Consciously make a resolution not to fall into the ‘guilt trap’. The sooner you accept you can’t be perfect at everything, the faster you will be at peace with yourself. Use the 20:80 principle to smartly choose the 20% stuff you need to personally excel in rather than trying to equally expend your energies on the 80%. I am not saying that the 80% doesn’t have to be done but if the right set of 20% is chosen then the remaining 80% can be broken down so that you focus on either get it right myself, delegate to others, rely on my alternate infrastructure / network to address it appropriately.
Last but definitely not the least, ensure you have adequate fuel of “ME TIME”!! Each of us have some or other activities which destress and make us happy. Many a times I have observed that this becomes the first casualty whilst juggling tasks. I have personally experimented and observed that when I set the boundary intelligently like choosing a certain time of the day which is least vulnerable to a compromise for this activity and ensure that I do it, it helps me first internally balance myself and then bring that state of equipoise into my work and personal life in a very impactful manner. However on the other hand when I start compromising, before long the “ME TIME” completely goes off my radar and over a period I get into a vicious cycle of feeling irritable and burnt-out which anyways impacts my effectiveness across all roles.
So on this women’s day let’s take a pledge that we will gift ourselves “ME time” – each day from today.
On the occasion of women’s day, I would like to pen down my thoughts on the constant tussle faced by most of us female professionals on how to balance our work and personal life.
As a daughter, as a life- partner, as a mother, as a community / social group member, as a professional and above all as an individual per se, we all face constant dilemmas while striving to attain that perfect, almost utopian, equilibrium. It’s a constant tussle between so called simple choices like attending to your family needs vs. staying true to your professional commitments, pampering yourself with a break vs. fulfilling your responsibilities, leaving your kid at a crèche vs. seeing your kid take his/her first steps, getting your beauty sleep vs. burning the midnight oil to ensure meeting key deliverables at work and above all neglecting your personal well-being vs. taking care of your work and family commitments.
I think what accentuates it (at least for me!) is the need to live up to our own self-expectations wherein there is the underlying cultural archetype of being a good woman in terms of a home-maker, empathetic and supportive daughter, a super-mom, a diligent social worker, etc. to on the other hand prove myself at work.
On reflection on my own continuing journey on this path, sharing a few tips which have helped me along the way i.e.,
It is important to periodically take stock of life in terms of what at that stage is meaningful priorities for us and map how actual time is spent correlating with our priorities. Sometimes jotting this down makes it a more conscious action and any course correction required emerges quite glaringly.
In case of a conflict, rely back on your value-system to make sustainable choices. It is funny but many a times what looked as a tough compromise actually turns out to be more in our mind and once executed other people adjust and things fall back in place. The point I am making her is that we ourselves are responsible for others taking us for granted!
Make the most of each moment and be fully present and enjoy whatever you are doing. When performing a particular role whether at work or at home, give it your full focus and quality time. Don’t let other roles clog your thoughts at that time.
Consciously make a resolution not to fall into the ‘guilt trap’. The sooner you accept you can’t be perfect at everything, the faster you will be at peace with yourself. Use the 20:80 principle to smartly choose the 20% stuff you need to personally excel in rather than trying to equally expend your energies on the 80%. I am not saying that the 80% doesn’t have to be done but if the right set of 20% is chosen then the remaining 80% can be broken down so that you focus on either get it right myself, delegate to others, rely on my alternate infrastructure / network to address it appropriately.
Last but definitely not the least, ensure you have adequate fuel of “ME TIME”!! Each of us have some or other activities which destress and make us happy. Many a times I have observed that this becomes the first casualty whilst juggling tasks. I have personally experimented and observed that when I set the boundary intelligently like choosing a certain time of the day which is least vulnerable to a compromise for this activity and ensure that I do it, it helps me first internally balance myself and then bring that state of equipoise into my work and personal life in a very impactful manner. However on the other hand when I start compromising, before long the “ME TIME” completely goes off my radar and over a period I get into a vicious cycle of feeling irritable and burnt-out which anyways impacts my effectiveness across all roles.
So on this women’s day let’s take a pledge that we will gift ourselves “ME time” – each day from today.
